Post by Parvati Shallow on Sept 5, 2012 1:19:49 GMT -5
I'm gonna post the PM I just got, because I feel like it's something that I ought to address.
Apparently it's my fault that Erinn left, because I showed Kim an IM that Erinn sent me, and Kim apparently used it to get her voted off.
I find it kind of hilarious that I nearly got voted out of my own tribe last round, and now I'm apparently dictating the boots on the other one. Never saw that one comin'.
Now, this bears a little explanation. I showed Kim that IM, yes. Absolutely. Here it is:
I absolutely sent her that, because I knew for a fact that she and Damien were setting up a plot to take Lex out of the game. I defended my ally, against someone who actually had made me no promises whatsoever, and blatantly admitted she was going to try to play a power-player game, and who was pretty clearly planning on using the people who have been awful to me in this and previous games as her allies.
Now, here's something else to keep in mind. The last time that Tara and I legitimately played together, I got the short end of the stick, when she used that exact strategy to play me like a fiddle. She herself said in that same conversation that she can't really justify her actions in Jiuzhaigou other than saying it was what was best for her. So in that sense, this is a case of karmic justice more than anything else. I did what was best for me, by keeping my ally around instead of her.
So that's a good list of the reasons why I really shouldn't feel bad about that.
But here's why I feel bad anyway. Because it upsets me to think that Tara had this vision of me as a person which suggested that I was trustworthy enough not to that kind of thing, and I destroyed that vision. It's my last game, and hers, and I won't really ever have a chance to repair that burnt bridge. To be honest, I think Erinn is perfectly right to be mad at me, because that's the exact same reason I am mad at Colleen right now. I spent hours bitching at her last night, because I thought that Colleen was my friend, and that that friendship meant that she would respect me enough not to treat me badly. It turns out that Colleen checks friendship at the door, and she will treat you like utter crap if it's what's best for her, and expect that your out-of-game friendship will be completely unaffected. It sucks a nut to have someone let you down like that.
So, Tara, if you read this, I am sorry. You're right, I'm a douchebag for doing that to you, and if I could change it, I would.
To be honest, I am more than all right with the idea of getting voted off next. If they come after me again, I do not intend to fight them. I didn't sign up to get punched in the face, and I sure as heck did not sign up to be the one who people are furious with after the dust settles. I've walked that road before, where I took some actions that literally any person would have taken, and somehow because it was me, it was completely unacceptable. I have a sneaking suspicion that I know full well why the moral standards are higher for me than for anybody else, despite my attempts to partition certain things, and if what's going on is what I think is going on, I would much rather get taken out early than let things get worse than they are.
Apparently it's my fault that Erinn left, because I showed Kim an IM that Erinn sent me, and Kim apparently used it to get her voted off.
I find it kind of hilarious that I nearly got voted out of my own tribe last round, and now I'm apparently dictating the boots on the other one. Never saw that one comin'.
Showing Kim what you showed her was the biggest douche bag move I've ever had come from you. I can't believe you would do that to me, someone who isn't even in your tribe and THIS ended my game. I'm being sent to redemption now because of that. I thought you were different from everyone else in these fucking games.
Now, this bears a little explanation. I showed Kim that IM, yes. Absolutely. Here it is:
ahollywoodslayer (11:36:35 AM): I always set it up so that it's a lot of work in the first three rounds, then after that, I coast with the authority that I've established. ^_^ So I make more time for socializing and not being at the computer haha.
I absolutely sent her that, because I knew for a fact that she and Damien were setting up a plot to take Lex out of the game. I defended my ally, against someone who actually had made me no promises whatsoever, and blatantly admitted she was going to try to play a power-player game, and who was pretty clearly planning on using the people who have been awful to me in this and previous games as her allies.
Now, here's something else to keep in mind. The last time that Tara and I legitimately played together, I got the short end of the stick, when she used that exact strategy to play me like a fiddle. She herself said in that same conversation that she can't really justify her actions in Jiuzhaigou other than saying it was what was best for her. So in that sense, this is a case of karmic justice more than anything else. I did what was best for me, by keeping my ally around instead of her.
So that's a good list of the reasons why I really shouldn't feel bad about that.
But here's why I feel bad anyway. Because it upsets me to think that Tara had this vision of me as a person which suggested that I was trustworthy enough not to that kind of thing, and I destroyed that vision. It's my last game, and hers, and I won't really ever have a chance to repair that burnt bridge. To be honest, I think Erinn is perfectly right to be mad at me, because that's the exact same reason I am mad at Colleen right now. I spent hours bitching at her last night, because I thought that Colleen was my friend, and that that friendship meant that she would respect me enough not to treat me badly. It turns out that Colleen checks friendship at the door, and she will treat you like utter crap if it's what's best for her, and expect that your out-of-game friendship will be completely unaffected. It sucks a nut to have someone let you down like that.
So, Tara, if you read this, I am sorry. You're right, I'm a douchebag for doing that to you, and if I could change it, I would.
To be honest, I am more than all right with the idea of getting voted off next. If they come after me again, I do not intend to fight them. I didn't sign up to get punched in the face, and I sure as heck did not sign up to be the one who people are furious with after the dust settles. I've walked that road before, where I took some actions that literally any person would have taken, and somehow because it was me, it was completely unacceptable. I have a sneaking suspicion that I know full well why the moral standards are higher for me than for anybody else, despite my attempts to partition certain things, and if what's going on is what I think is going on, I would much rather get taken out early than let things get worse than they are.