Post by Austin Carty-Gonzalez-Angarita on Oct 20, 2012 17:50:40 GMT -5
Let's make something clear before I start. I'm not writing up a crappy little thing just because that's all the effort I'm willing to put forward. I used my phoenix feather to bring back Ublaz for the round, and with that agreement he'd give me the immunity he wins if he indeed does. I have high confidence that he'll be able to bring that one home. The man wants Yau dead, and I know he'll work his ass off to make sure he controls one of the immunities. And because of my UTR style, I'm not going to stick my head on the line and try winning the second immunity and then have Parvati (who I like to think is under my control through the double votes) give immunity elsewhere and have people thinking it was my decision (even though it would be).
So here goes my pathetic attempt at submitting for a challenge....
Who knows, maybe my sucky write-up can be considered a theme all in its own
On day 1, twenty-two of the finest assholes this series has ever seen washed up on the shores of Tonga. While the STD-ridden Michslut was nowhere to be found, BobDawg had finally realized he actually has a vagina so he insta-quit in rage. It was later determined he was suffering from PMS, a fine condition reserved for only the classiest of trannies. Realizing that this wasn't the place for guys playing as girls, Erinn quickly left. Natalie fled from the scene also for similar reasons, but needed a ball gag to keep her trap shut. While flailing in horror over leaving the game, Natalie "accidentally" kicked Brett in the throat, causing him to hemorrage and die.
The teams were then divided into All-Stars 1, All-Stars 2, and the "We don't give a fuck"s. Coincidentally, the AS1 and "WDGAF" tribe were on the same beach and competed in challenges together. You may consider them one tribe combined, but clearly it was two seperate factions. The allstars 2 team did it's best to lose, and it indeed was able to slit Eliza and Adam's throats, but the WDGAFers were like "Hey, we aren't giving no fucks good enough". They promptly blew ass in the next three challenges, which resulted in the deaths of Kim, Hunter, and Jenna. The As1 team seemed to have finally figured out how to win, but alas due to the sudden transferral of Lex to the WDGAF sub-tribe, this realization was shortly lived. AS1/WDGAF was reuctant to vote that dick out of the team, and then we finally had a 4-person team filled with superb individuals that were ready to kick ass.
Wait, what's this you say? Candice and Coleen quit TOGETHER?!?! Well who the hell is gonna stop them. "Not me" said Danielle and Austin collectively, both excited that they actually made it out of that fucked up team. Those two headed over to join essentially the entire All-Stars 2 team. "Hey ya'll, dont screw us immediately" said the two newbs, who did their best to survive. Amazingly, the two people reluctantly found themselves within a tribe with more cracks than Sierra's anorexic mess of a body. One by one the As2ers ate themselves up as Brenda and Chelsea in their lesbian lover ways decided to leave consecutively. Next on the line was Parvati, who was semi-blindsided, but no shits were given. Finally, some c*nt (censorship!) Misty died. Austin kicked sand on her and that constitued her burial. No fucks were given
So this left the final 7, two of which didn't expect to even make the merge at the horrific rate their tribe was going. A third, Heidi, had already been voted out of their tribe. Using some messed up feather Austin found on the beach, he brough Parvati back to life and decided to use her as his puppet for the round. The goal? Have puppet win immunity for him, keep himself out of the limelight, and kick Jess-Yau and Anthony to the curb. Then the game would be his for the taking. It would require stabbing Danielle in the back and bringing someone worthless to the finals with him. But hey, for real money people actually are motivated to do shit.
THE END
(Not exactly Dickens-esque, but it sure as hell counts for a mediocre to below-average response!)
So here goes my pathetic attempt at submitting for a challenge....
Who knows, maybe my sucky write-up can be considered a theme all in its own
On day 1, twenty-two of the finest assholes this series has ever seen washed up on the shores of Tonga. While the STD-ridden Michslut was nowhere to be found, BobDawg had finally realized he actually has a vagina so he insta-quit in rage. It was later determined he was suffering from PMS, a fine condition reserved for only the classiest of trannies. Realizing that this wasn't the place for guys playing as girls, Erinn quickly left. Natalie fled from the scene also for similar reasons, but needed a ball gag to keep her trap shut. While flailing in horror over leaving the game, Natalie "accidentally" kicked Brett in the throat, causing him to hemorrage and die.
The teams were then divided into All-Stars 1, All-Stars 2, and the "We don't give a fuck"s. Coincidentally, the AS1 and "WDGAF" tribe were on the same beach and competed in challenges together. You may consider them one tribe combined, but clearly it was two seperate factions. The allstars 2 team did it's best to lose, and it indeed was able to slit Eliza and Adam's throats, but the WDGAFers were like "Hey, we aren't giving no fucks good enough". They promptly blew ass in the next three challenges, which resulted in the deaths of Kim, Hunter, and Jenna. The As1 team seemed to have finally figured out how to win, but alas due to the sudden transferral of Lex to the WDGAF sub-tribe, this realization was shortly lived. AS1/WDGAF was reuctant to vote that dick out of the team, and then we finally had a 4-person team filled with superb individuals that were ready to kick ass.
Wait, what's this you say? Candice and Coleen quit TOGETHER?!?! Well who the hell is gonna stop them. "Not me" said Danielle and Austin collectively, both excited that they actually made it out of that fucked up team. Those two headed over to join essentially the entire All-Stars 2 team. "Hey ya'll, dont screw us immediately" said the two newbs, who did their best to survive. Amazingly, the two people reluctantly found themselves within a tribe with more cracks than Sierra's anorexic mess of a body. One by one the As2ers ate themselves up as Brenda and Chelsea in their lesbian lover ways decided to leave consecutively. Next on the line was Parvati, who was semi-blindsided, but no shits were given. Finally, some c*nt (censorship!) Misty died. Austin kicked sand on her and that constitued her burial. No fucks were given
So this left the final 7, two of which didn't expect to even make the merge at the horrific rate their tribe was going. A third, Heidi, had already been voted out of their tribe. Using some messed up feather Austin found on the beach, he brough Parvati back to life and decided to use her as his puppet for the round. The goal? Have puppet win immunity for him, keep himself out of the limelight, and kick Jess-Yau and Anthony to the curb. Then the game would be his for the taking. It would require stabbing Danielle in the back and bringing someone worthless to the finals with him. But hey, for real money people actually are motivated to do shit.
THE END
(Not exactly Dickens-esque, but it sure as hell counts for a mediocre to below-average response!)